Though husband and I were fighting sometimes, we helped each other. We have one daughter. She was delivered in the fourth year after we married. We feel it's pleasure and responsibility to raise our daughter.

I learn a lot of things that I didn't experience if I didn't marry. I feel the important meaning from my family life. For example, at dinner time, we make it a rule to have a dinner together. I cook dinner and my husband helps me when he comes back home. My daughter gets the tableware ready. We share the meal and we talk about each other. Sometimes my husband and I correct my daughter's bad manners.

After dinner, we clear away dinner together. We learn to cooperate, to share, to think for others, to listen to each other and to learn manners from dinner.

I think family is the most important unit where we learn human social rules.

I'll throw her favorite toy and she will bring it back for me to throw again. One of my friends acted like she was going to throw the toy for her. She did not throw it and Precious got upset. She howled at my friend and turned her back to her and would not have anything to do with her.

I had a ten pound bag of birdseed on a footstool. Precious pulled the bag off the footstool and pulled it across the floor from one room to another without spilling it.

Eventually, I bred her with one of her distant relatives to keep the kittens purebred. I had to be with her while she was having her kittens because she wanted me there. When she went into labor she would jump, up so I petted, and talked to her to calm her down. She had a total of five kittens, one died at birth. Two girls and two boys lived. I kept one of the boys; I kept him because he was different. He could balance himself on the edge of things. He was born on Halloween night, October 31, 1990 at 6 pm. He had a kink in his tail, so I named him Kink Tail Ichabod, but I call him Kink Tail for short.

King Tail is bigger than his mom now. One day Precious was lying in the Window basket and Kink Tail decided to join her. She did not move over so King Tail sat on her head. She jumped up and gave him two quick smacks. Precious stayed mad at him for two hours before she made up with him. My friend was with me at the time and it scared her because she is afraid of Siamese cats. I just told her that they were not mean cats.

I tried to brush their teeth but they would hide their toothbrush under the rug. If I drop an earring or a piece of jewelry, they will grab it and run. I cannot put toilet paper on the roll because they will unroll the paper, so I have to put the paper on the shelf, out of reach.

When I am feeling bad or in pain they seem to know. They will get up in my face and stare into my eyes like they're trying to figure out how to help. If I sneeze Precious will come running and stare at me. I had a friend staying with me for couple of months and Precious liked her. When I came home from work and my friend was sick, Precious had a way of letting me know, and I had to follow her to see my friend. She said that Precious stayed at the foot of her bed and every now and then she came up and patted her on the cheek. They will not let my friend sleep on the sofa when I am not at home. My friend said that they would holler at her until she went upstairs to bed. If I have trouble sleeping at night, I go play on the computer. Precious will come and holler at me until I go back to bed.

There is a grill at the bottom of my refrigerator; Kink Tail loves to take it off. He tries to be sneaky about it. One morning my friend was watching him patting at the bottom of the icebox. She said to him, "Go ahead -- pull it off. Let's see if you can do it." He stopped, looked up in surprise, stood up boldly and walked away. My friend followed him, pleading "Goahead, take it off" and he just walked away as if to say "I haven't done a thing." Sometimes, he pushes the grill across the floor.

They are part of my family and "purrfect" and unique friends.

Some friends are very kind to me, like Geneva. Two years ago she took me to her house. Another friend takes me to her house when she can. Another friend comes for me sometimes and takes me to Dennis' house for awhile.

I am very thankful for all these friends who help me.

nce I went to live with my family. I thought I heard ghosts in the house. My niece said, "I heard ghosts in the house, too." It sounded like a radio playing somewhere. There was nobody there, but my brother's kids and I. I wasn't scared. I didn't hear the noise that I thought was a ghost anymore. My brother and sister-in-law would go places and I would stay home with the kids. My brother and sister-in-law lived in a big house. The house had a big yard, and they planted a garden out back. The children's names were Becky and Kevin. My niece and nephew were young then.

I started babysitting my brother's kids and two other kids together. We would help fix their meals and clean the house together. My sister-in-law and my brother and I would go to the store to do the grocery shopping. I would go with my sister-in-law to the laundrymat to wash clothes. Sometimes we would go to other places together.s

I love my dad and mom so very much. Mydad died when I was ten years old. My mom had to be both mom and dad. She worked so hard, but it paid off. We all turned out all right!

A while later, my son-in-law came to the waiting room to give us the good news. He said to his mother, and my wife and me that they have a little girl and their new-born daughter and his wife were fine!

As a grandfather, I was very proud to have a granddaughter. My wife and I have two daughters and one son. Now my youngest daughter has borne my first granddaughter. the hospital staff brought her out of the delivery rom, each side of the family looked at her and said she looked like their side of the family. I looked at her and said that this little girl may have features that resemble both sides of her family, but she has her own individuality and her own personality. Even though she's connected to her family, yet she has her own identity!

Misty wanted to try it, so she got on and we hit the start button. Everything was going along just fine. We took turns on it. Then Misty was the last one on before we left. She said, "Dad, push a button to see if we can make it go faster!" So I did. Sure enough, the treadmill took off in a full run. Well, little Misty's hands stayed on the railings, but her feet shot straight out. Then she fell flat on her belly on the conveyor belt and shot straight across the floor!

After I made sure she wasn't hurt, we laughed about it for days. Even when we told the rest of the family the story, they couldn't stop laughing. We all wish we could have gotten a video tape of it so we could look back at Misty's experience on the treadmill!

My kids and I enjoyed traveling by airplane to London. We left the U.S. at 8 a.m. and arrived in London at 9 p.m. Because it was the first time my second son flew on an airplane, he especially enjoyed it. When we got there, my kids and I saw my sister and her two kids. Their names are Doina and Eric. We all hugged and kissed each other. Then we went to my sister's home. That night was the happiest timewe had ever spent together as a family.

The following day we went to town with my sister and her children. There we met some of my sister's friends, and my sister told them that we were her family from the U.S. She told them that she would give them a call the next day. So she did, and all her friends came to her house and we ate together. After we atemy sister's friends gave us some gifts. It was wonderful, and I was very surprised. The next day we went to church with my sister and her children. After the church was over, she took us to a zoo. My kids loved the animals. She also took us to a playground with lots of games.

My two sons loved being in London. We had a good time over there. The only thing we did not like was the weather. It was too cold! We are back home in the U.S. now, and already we miss my sister and her children.

We are grown up now, but when we were small, we would follow daddy to work in the morning and go back in the evening to meet him. Mama would have supper ready, we would eat, and wash the dishes then get ready for bed. This went on day after day, year after year.

We would follow mama everywhere she would go like little ducks. But as time passed, we grew up and some started to go to school. I fell ill, and daddy would take me to the doctor who gave me some pills to take. I had to drop out of school. I went to the hospital and had surgery on my ear then got better. I went to work on the farm with my daddy, helping him pick beans, tomatoes, and corn.

One day a man came by and asked, "Would you like a puppy?" We said, "Yes!" We went with him to where he lived with his children and got the puppy. We went home, and Daddy was waiting for us at the road. We kept the puppy in a box in the house. We fed him from the table and he began to grow. We called him Tippy. We all cared for that dog and everywhere we would go, he would go too. The whole family cared for that dog, and he seemed to care for us too.

One day we went to the mountain to get some wood. We gathered some wood and started to go back to the house when Willy fell into a hole. Tippy caught Willy by the collar and pulled him out of the hole. Willy started to cry and Tippy didn't know what to do, so he sat still, right there and looked at Willy.

Willy didn't like that dog any more. Everywhere Willy went, Tippy would watch him and follow. Willy would look back at Tippy and the puppy would lie down. Finally they became friends again. Tippy was one of the family -- he made number ten.

In the whole railroad car, there were only a few people. There was no talking, no smoking, and almost no voices. Only the sound of the train echoed. I leaned my head against the window. Suddenly, I saw a beautiful butterfly pass by. What a beautiful little thing! I felt my heart flew with the butterfly far away, flew to my little daughter, who is coming from my home country to reunite with me and my husband.

After getting of the train, I took the bus to the airport. The plane was delayed for two hours. For me, two hours seemed like one century. I walked, then sat and then walked again. I was so nervous and excited. At length, through the glass wall I saw my little girl who was just four years old, appeared at customs with my brother. She saw me. Yeah, my little girl saw me! She walked straight to me. My hands were propped on the glass. Tears ran down my face. I wanted to touch my little girl, to hold her, but I could not. The glass kept us apart. She raised her hands to the glass slowly, staring into my eyes and my face. Our hands were against each other, separated only by the glass. We just stood there quietly. I let my tears run, and run.

Finally, my daughter and my brother went through the passages. They came out. I ran to their place. I hugged my daughter tightly. "Mama!" She called with a low tender voice. I could not say anything. Yes, I heard this voice again, I saw my little girl again! I held her. I felt so warm and relaxed. I held her hands and said: "Mama will never leave you alone again." She hugged me tightly without saying a word, just kissed me on my face. At last we were together now.

....

The night was so deep. "Mama, Mama, don't leave me alone. Don't leave me." My little girl cried in her dream. The poor girl dreamed again. She has dreamed the same dream for almost a month. I woke up again by her crying voice. I ran toward her bed: "My child. I'm here. Your mama is here." I held her so sadly: "Mama is here. Did you dream again?" "I dreamed that you left me alone." She cried. "Don't leave me alone. Why did you leave me before? Why? I told you not to leave me alone. But you left. Why?" I didn't know how to answer this question, it was hard to let the little child understand. I just comforted her. "Mama is here. I promise Mama will never leave you again. I'm so sorry, my child."

After one year, one day, I heard that my little girl sang a song while crying in the bedroom. I opened door. She was folding a bird with a piece of white paper while singing. She sang the song with her own words and melody:

"...Daddy, mama went to Finland. I stayed with grandpa and grandma. Daddy and mama left me alone. I missed daddy and mama. They missed me, too. I wrote a letter to daddy and mama. In the letter, I told them: a butterfly flew over in the blue sky. How beautiful it was! Mama and daddy got the letter. How happy they were!"

Yeah, a butterfly flew over. How beautiful it was. More butterflies flew over. How happy they were.

When I had my first son, I was very young and confused. I adapted to parenthood very quickly. And indeed I'm glad I did. My oldest son has made me so happy and proud of him. Now that he's growing into a young man and becoming his own person, it's tearing my heart apart. He's got one more year of high school, and then off to service he goes. Then I'll have to remember to let joy in, because I still can hold on to all the good memories of him growing up.

My second son came along, more joy. There were times when I could not get him to open up to anyone. Now that he's in high school, he is growing into a nice young man also. He loves school, playing video games, and sports. He also enjoys being under me.

Next came along my third son. That's when trials and tribulations stepped in. He has been through so much in his short period of life. But now he's begun to get it together and doing a wonderful job at it. He does a great job in school and really tries to please me in whatever he does. I always give him the praise for doing his best. But we still have a long way to go.

Now came my fourth son, "my angel baby." I love him with all my heart. When he came along, I was not ready for him. It seemed as if my world were turning upside down. He is older now and things are much better. It is a joy to have him.

Without the boys now, there would be a blank in my life. To any young person that might read this, think before you leap into my world. It can be joy, heartaches, laughter, and pains. But with God on our side, we can overcome anything. All you have to do, is turn it over to God. He will strengthen you through your hard times. Looking back over the years, I might have shed some tears, but now I count it all joy.

AFter getting up and going to school my brother and I would come home, do our homework. Then we would ask our parents what jobs they had for us to do. On weekends my brother and I would be able to have friends over if we had done all our chores for the week before.

I am so glad that my parents tried so hard to give us a sense of responsibility. Even today, I recall the limits of being able to do things I wanted after certain jobs were completed. How I hope my children will learn the same lesson.

As we are growing older every day our parents are still there for us. If we ever need any helpful hints about the best way to deal with a situation that we can't figure out for ourselves, they are there to listen. I'm very thankful for all my family and for the many things they have done for me. My brother and I have always had the usual brother sister fights but he is ready to lend a helping hand in a real need.

Holidays and birthdays are very special to me. It is a time the whole family gets together for a long visit. It is a great time for all the little ones to get together and play and have fun.

I am thankful that my family cares about having a bad first marriage. I am especially thankful that my parents were there to take my two children and raise them giving them what they need. I am able to see the children real often and keep up with what they do.

I know my parents are there to support me emotionally, spiritually and when they can financially. My husband is the greatest person my life now. I am so glad he took me in when my first marriage ended and I decided that I no longer wanted to be at home. He was there to give me food, a roof over my head, and to listen to what I had to say. After a bad first marriage I thought I would never remarry. I have remarried, my life has changed and we now have a son.

My parents get along very well with my husband and we are all one big family. I am very grateful that my parents feel this way because even though I can't take care of my two children by the first marriage, I can see them real often. Seeing them means a lot to me.

For my family I am thankful beyond words for without them I would be lost in this big world. I love my family very dearly and I try to show how grateful I am for them. Sometimes I may forget to say "thank you," sometimes I may forget to tell them "I love you," but always remember I do care very much.

My mother, a God-fearing woman, was well thought of in the community. A Sunday school teacher, she held prayer service and Bible study in our home for others to come to join us. My dad, in his own way, tried to be a good dad.

I have five brothers, four who are older than me and one who is seven years younger. We were raised in a home which was filled with love and attention from our mother who played the roles of mamma, daddy, mentor, teacher, and friend.

She taught us about love, honesty and fairness. She taught us to strive to be the best we could be and to be kind to others regardless of race. Many times others taunted us in our neighborhood. Mom would tell us to ignore them and turn the other cheek. Personally for me, it was hard to go to school and have the children tease me. It ruined my self-esteem a lot.

My mother tried to keep us safe and happy, education was an important subject in our family. Mom would make us study every night, even if we didn't have homework.

As a young black girl of thirteen, I became pregnant and an unwed mom at fourteen. My child was born three months before time which caused her lungs not to be developed. For this reason, she was a very sick child. I went back to school determined to get my education so I could support my baby. However, things did not work out that way. My child became very ill. The doctor demanded I stay at home and keep her instead of sending her to the baby-sitter. Once again, I put my education on the back burner.

At the age of sixteen I had to get a job to support her. I took on washing and ironing for people in the community so I could buy my daughter the special kind of formula she required.

After two years I had to go to work to support her. I had to leave her with a babysitter until the weekend because my job required me to stay there. Welfare at the time was not offered to blacks. When I tried to get help for my sick child, I was refused without hesitation. May God bless the souls of those welfare workers who worked in the office at the time. I remember their names well! The 60's and 70's were especially hard for me. Many doors were closed in my face when I tried to get help to support my family.

By the Grace of God, I made it. Because of the love that was instilled in me by my mom, I learned to forgive those who were in authority but had refused to help a struggling young black mother. The Lord promised us that vengeance is His and He will repay in due time. I thank God for a a praying mom because of what she instilled in me. Many years have passed and I have my own family. Not only am I blessed with two beautiful daughters and one handsome son, but also five granddaughters. My life has not been a bed of roses nor has it been all bad.

I tell my children all the time that I love them. It's important for children to know they are loved. I only hope they tell their children daily how much they love them and never fail to take the time to let them know how they care.

It is my prayer and dream for my family that they will always love and care for each other no matter what they must endure. Spread love, joy, peace, and happiness toward everyone. Life is too precious to carry around hate. I hope that whatever I tuaght my children as they were growing up, whatever struggles we faced, I only hope that it was a learning experience instead of a hindrance. What does family mean to me? It means loving them in spite of their shortcomings and faults.

What I miss the most is our morning coffee. We would always come over to each other's house and drink a morning coffee. That was the best way to start a day. We would talk for a while and then we would go to the city to the grocery store or go shopping. We write letters to each other and I am very happy when I get a letter from her. It just makes my whole week. Sometimes while we are talking on the telephone we drink coffee so it seems as if we are together.

She is planning to visit me pretty soon, and I cannot wait. She has always been there for me and I will be friends with her forever. I am lucky to have such a good friend like Smiljana.

From my Danish Housewife's Cookbook comes the following recipe:

1/2 kg Søde mander ("sweet almonds")
1/2 kg Flormelis ("powdered sugar")
1 spsk Æggehvide ("Egg white")

Cut up 8-oz. almond paste (the amount in the can) into small pieces in a mixing bowl. Add 1 egg white and 1 cup confectioners sugar and knead until mixture binds together. Place marzipan on work surface and knead in 1 to 1 1/2 cups confectioners sugar until smooth and pliable. Tint and shape into marzipan candies.

Now is when the fun really begins: each person would have their own workspace, a small cutting board (sandwich boards are standard items in Scandinavian homes), waxed paper, a knife, and toothpicks to help shape and color your creations. Only your imagination is the limiting factor in what you create. Sometimes you tint a mass and make a pink pig or green frog. Another person might make checkerboard designs or inwheels of two or more colors.

Place the finished candies on the waxed paper to air dry. We always "judged" the most realistic, most unusual design, most creative or difficult. Of course, mistakes must be eaten.

Some of the more creative ideas I remember were eggs, sunny side up -- dice -- carrots -- a decorated wreath, etc. You could use the toothpicks as props or makeshift paintbrushes to apply food coloring like paint to highlight your confection. Sometimes jimmies, powdered cocoa or sugar were used as extra decoration, but not normally.

Traditionally one larger piece of marzipan, usually in the shape of a pig, would become a prize. This for the person who found the whole blanched almond hidden in the creamy hot rice pudding served during the first course at the next day's Christmas Eve dinner as a side dish with the roasted, stuffed goose. But that is another story.

I took him fishing down on the James River. he threw the worm in the water and hollered that a fish had his worm. I hadn't put a hook in it so he didn't catch it.

I put a hook in the worm. He caught a small-mouth bass about 20 inches long and about three pounds. I told him he had to put it back in the river or it would die. I take him when I get a chance.

He's caught a lot of fish but not as big as the first one.

I take him out on the boat. He hooked me, he hooked the boat, he hooked everything but the fish. We went fishing in the boat and were about three miles away from the truck and it started to rain.

He didn't like that very much. He started to cry. I told him the rain wouldn't hurt him. That seemed to calm him down. When we got to the truck, he didn't waste any time getting in the truck. It was a couple days before he wanted to get back in the boat.

I love to fish and watch somebody else catch a fish. I can't wait until it gets warmer so I can go fishing with my son. He's a little older. Now he pays more attention to what you say. I don't have to worry so much about him hooking everything. My wife likes to go with us. We go in the evening after work. We fish on the banks of the James River. He runs up and down the riverbanks. When it gets dark he is ready to go home, get a bath and go to bed. Sometimes on weekends we stay all day long and have a picnic. We'll cook some fish or hamburgers. He likes eating fish, but he likes Long John Silver's fish better.

I remember going fishing with my dad when I was young. I had a lot of fun. It doesn't seem that long ago.

He was born October 4, 1997. A little boy really changed my life.

I was so very happy. We named him Trey for the III. At first I thought what have I gotten into. But afterwards it was great. It tok him awhile to get his sleeping right, to tell when it was time to sleep, or time to be awake.

After a few months it got really better. I began to play with him.

After he got to be one year old, he started to say "dada." I was really happy on his first birthday. Frances took his bottle from him. He was also potty trained. It really was great having a son to say daddy.

On September 4, 1999, we had a little girl. It was wonderful. Her name is Frantasia Cornelia Ruth Washington. She is wonderful. Her brother really loves her. He says, "Daddy, is that your baby girl?" And I say, "Yes, and you are my baby boy."

Whenever a problem comes up I know what to do to solve it. It is really great. She is walking and talking now. Christmas was great for the boy at one-year-old. He did not know what to think of his first Christmas present. This year was Frantasia's first Christmas to remember. She got dolls, kitchen set and many other toys. Her brother got a jeep that runs off of a battery. She loved it. He gave her a ride, and she went to sleep riding, and would not get out. She laid her head on her brother's shoulder and kept on riding. I had to take a couple of pictures of them. They were great.

So let me tell you a little something about each of us. My father’s name is Steve Peterson and although he wasn’t around most of my life I still remember a lot of good times with him. Like when I was young, my favorite game was jacks and when he and I would play, he used to throw the ball way up in the air, pick up the jacks and then catch the ball. And though that was considered cheating, I would always laugh until tears came to my eyes.

My mother’s name is Eunice Peterson and everyday of my life I will thank God for her. She always knew just what to say to me to make me feel good. Like when I first got into trouble with the law, she told me that throughout my lifetime I will make many mistakes but to just try and learn from them. And yes, I’ve made many mistakes in my life but never the same one twice.

My older sister’s name is Juanita Peterson and she was the one who always kept the family together. Like the time when our house caught on fire, she was the one who got everybody out and made everything all right by taking charge.

My oldest brother’s name is Steve Peterson and he has very good talent in drawing. I remember when I was in grade school and I had entered a drawing contest. Well my brother Steve had helped me to draw a beautiful picture of a clown and I came in second place.

My next to oldest brother’s name is Thomas Robinson and although he wasn’t born as my brother, I love him just the same. I remember when this older boy was giving me a hard time and my brother Thomas went to him and got the situation taken care of. I know this not a real good story to tell about him, but right then and there, I knew that I would always claim and love him just as much as I love my blood brothers.

My youngest brother’s name is Toney Peterson and he is the comedian in the family. He can turn your teardrops into snowflakes. I remember one Halloween he dressed up as a woman with no shame and took my sisters and me trick or treating. That was the best Halloween I’ve ever had.

My sister next to me is Annette Peterson and she was an angel sent from heaven. Although my sister Juanita kept the family together, my sister Annette was the strong one in the family. I remember when we were behind on the rent, my sister Annette went out and got the money that we needed. To this day, I don’t know where she got the money, but I believe in my heart that she didn’t do anything out of the ordinary or against the law for the money. My sister Annette died of AIDS four years ago and I am still mourning her death in my heart.

My sister Linda Peterson is next to the youngest and is a younger version of me. And although we sometimes have our differences, I still love her very much. Linda tries so hard to be like me that it sometimes scares me. I remember one time when she was arrested for arm robbery and it scared me just as much as it scared her, but after that she learned her lesson and she’s been walking a straight line every since.

My youngest sister’s name is Erica Peterson and she too was an angel sent from heaven. She was very shy and the only time that you would have known that she was in the room is when she would laugh. Her laugh was the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard. There’s no story that I could share with you about her because my little sister Erica was killed nineteen years ago and believe it or not, I’m still mourning in my heart for her, and I guess I always will.

And last of all, me. My name is Frances Peterson, and although I’ve made many mistakes in my life, and I mean many, I’m really not a bad person. I have a beautiful personality, a good sense of humor, and there’s never a dull moment around me. I’m trying my very best to change my lifestyle, and I know with the help of God, I will succeed if I keep my faith in the Lord.

So you see, I love my family with all my heart because they’ve given me so many good memories and with these memories I will never feel alone in this world.

My father has been the sole provider for my two sisters, my two brothers, and myself since 1979, and has been a single parent all that time. He also takes care of my children some, while I’m incarcerated.

I lost my mother at the age of five, so it was up to my father to take care of us, by clothing us, sheltering us, feeding us, and most importantly, loving us. I used to love when we would all go outside to play football and hide and seek; of course my dad had to find us. I would also sit with him and watch football on TV, but I would also have him play Barbies with me. My father even went as far as to get my own swimming coach because he thought I was that good.

My father hasn’t thought of himself or his needs in life since my mother has been gone. All he has done is made sure we were safe and well. My father has never remarried and has said he never will, that he loves my mother still and will be with her one day.

I see my father as a very strong person who instilled values into all his children through, and taught us what life has to offer, plus its many challenges. My mom passing away was a challenge my father brought all five of his children through, and himself. We would go out to a restaurant to eat and people would always compliment how on how well behaved, respectful, and courteous that we all were.

My daddy is sick right now, and it’s very hard for me not to be there to take care of him. However, he is fighting, which is what he has always done. My father has always said, "never give up on life, and fight for what you believe in, you’ll be rewarded on the long run." My father will always be my hero, in every meaning of the word.

In 1966 I was born in Virginia. I am the youngest of six girls. I have no brothers. Being the youngest was great. I loved the fact that I received most of the attention from everyone, especially my father.

After my father and my mother divorced my father would always pick me up to spend nights with him. Sometimes he would let me help him cook dinner. My father was a cab driver, at the time, and he would always give me his change pouch to get all the silver dollars, half-dollars, and dime pieces to put in my wooden chest.

Then my worst nightmare happened, when my father came over a few days later and told me that someone had broken into his house and stolen my wooden chest and his shotgun. That wooden chest meant so much to me because my father made that chest just for me. I cried for days!

My sisters and I are very close and open with each other. We were raised in a warm, loving, and spiritual home. My parents have always worked hard, sometimes two jobs, to raise six girls. As far back as I can remember, my childhood was great except for the time my two older sisters told me that when I was just a baby, they both were fighting to hold me and accidentally dropped me to the floor. I started crying and our mother walked into the room and asked why was I crying, so one of my sisters stated that I wanted my bottle, while my other sister said I was wet and needed changing. They both spoke at the same time (ha-ha). My mother knew they were lying. It is very humorous now, but I guess it wasn’t humorous for me back then.

Sometimes I wish I did have a brother. I find myself calling my nephew my brother. My mother raised my nephew as well as raising her girls. He is not older than I am but he has that brotherly persona.

During my stay at this correctional facility I have realized that no matter how far apart I am from my family I am still close to them in my heart. Distance doesn’t destroy good memories of home because home is where my heart is.

Honorable Mention

We were raised on two acres of land with many different kinds of animals running around. Our house was directly across the street from the school where my mother worked, and geese would follow her every morning as she crossed the street. The funny thing about this is that the geese took their time crossing the street and they would hold up traffic. Langley Air Force Base was a mile away and the traffic being held up was the service men on their way to and from work at Langley. I was the baby of eight.

I am not saying my father was a bad person. He was a good provider. My father taught my brothers how to hunt at a young age, which was something he lived to regret. There was a lot I did not know, although I do remember when and why my father stopped fighting my mother.

One morning, after my mother had worked all night, she was preparing breakfast for the family. My father decided he wanted to fight my mother once again. My next-to-oldest brother decided to stop the abuse. He ran and got one of the same rifles my father had taught him how to hunt with, and pointed the rifle at my father and said, "Go on daddy--hit her." My father left for work that morning and for two years all we heard of him were the weekly checks he sent in the mail.

My mother decided we needed a change in life, so we rented our land and moved to a new home. About six years later, the new home we lived in burned down. This takes me to 1977, the year in which the worst day of my mom’s life occurred. It was the day we had a big snowstorm in Newport News. Not only did we lose our house to a fire during this storm--we also lost a sister due to the house fire. My mother, who did not know the house was on fire, was on her way to the hospital to see her sister who had just been in a bad car accident. While she was driving, the gun that she normally kept between the seats went off and a bullet went through both of her legs. Her daughter was in the hospital dying of smoke inhalation. Her sister was also in the hospital with several injuries from a car accident and my mom was in the hospital with gunshot wounds in both of her legs. All the above happened in one day! Now the average person would lose their mind behind a day like this, but not my mom. She kept us together through it all. She always would say that God is in control. He knows what He is doing.

My mother never divorced my father, although he never hit her again. When my mother vowed, "until death do us part," that is what she meant. My father died of liver failure on April 24, 1998. My mother never stopped loving him. She is a very strong person with great faith. She is also a loving, caring, giving person.

The main reason I feel as if my mother is a hero is because she is now sick. She is a diabetic and has to go to dialysis three times a week. She also has high blood pressure. Both of her legs have been amputated, and three fingers on her left hand. After all my mother has been through in life she has not one time given up her faith in God. Today she still does all she can for others, attends church whenever she feels up to it, and prepares meals for the needy. I feel as if my being incarcerated is what hurts Mom the most; therefore, I pray to God I will be able to take care of her when I get out of here and show her just how much she means to me. Mother I love you!

She is very active in church. Every event that goes on, she’s there. Pastor and Wife Appreciation, First Sunday, Woman’s Day, Men’s Day, Easter Sunday, Christmas Day and Eve Service, and when she can make it, New Year’s Eve Service. She’s cooked for after-church services. When they feed the homeless, she’s there. When they give out baskets for Christmas to those that are needy, she’s there. She’s never afraid of hard work.

At the age of fourteen, I’d gotten pregnant for the second time. This time I tried to hide it from her. I knew that if she found out that she would make me get an abortion because I was too young to have a baby and my education was more important. Well, for four months I hid my pregnancy from her. Then, when I missed my appointment at the doctor, they called the house and she was home. When I came home from school, she told me about the call. I thought she was gonna tear my head off. But she didn’t, she just asked me why I didn’t tell her.

From that day, she supported my son and me. She helped me raise him. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know what I would have done. That is why my grandmother is who I am thankful for every day!

When Adam came to live with me, I was in an abusive relationship. Our daily environment was filled with random beatings. One day the law was called. The police took Adam to the welfare department and an ad was placed in the newspaper to locate his father. They needed the father’s signature so that Adam could be adopted. The day we went to court was especially hard for me. My own mother stood and told the judge that I would never be able to take care of him.

At this time I was very scared that I would never see him again and that my life wouldn’t be the same. It was so hard for me then, but as I went on with my life, I knew that my mother was right when she told the judge that. That day in court I thought that I would never see Adam again. Once Adam was gone, I felt lost, alone, and missed all of the things we shared. I missed being a mother to him.

About four years later a meeting was set up through the welfare department. My mother, husband and I met Adam’s parents. When I saw him for the first time in four years I was full of mixed emotions--happy and sad--but I was content, and also was very glad and grateful to be able to meet his new mother and father. I knew then that he is in a great family now. No more beatings, sadness, or abuse for him now. That made me feel so much better and relieved even though I wasn’t the one to raise him. Through out his life with the Madisons, I saw him grow in pictures.

I got married in 1986. My husband and his family were going to give me the money to go back to court to get Adam back, but I had to think about his feelings and what it would do to him. It was a very hard decision for me because I really want him back in my life. The question I had to ask myself was if it was going to make him hate me more if I took him through all the pain again, or would he hate me less if I just went on with my life and let him stay where he needed to be. I ended up leaving.

As the years went by, I would call the operator and ask for all the listings of the Madisons. I would have at least four or five phone numbers to call, and they all ended up being related to his parents. They would tell me how great he was doing and that he was growing up really fast. They would talk to me like they had known me forever.

The letter in front of me tells that he was raised the way that I always wanted to raise him. The first part of his letter states, "I know that this is a wish come true for you." He was right. Hearing from my son lets me know that he wants to get to know me more. Knowing everything that Adam has been through, he did not turn to abuse, drugs, or alcohol. I am very proud of him. I thank God for the parents that had been given to Adam.

I have five lovely grandchildren, four beautiful grandsons and one granddaughter.

I have had three dogs during my life. It seems like something bad has always happened to each one of them.

Also, I have a very lovely husband. This is my second husband, and I’ve been with him for twenty-eight years. We have been through a lot together, but we are always there for each other no matter what the situation is.

I have a lovely mother and father whom I loved deeply. They are both deceased now. My dad was far more attached to me than my mother. I would wait until my mother went to work and ask my dad if I could go out. He would allow me to go, but when my mother came home and found out she would get after me for disobeying her.

I had the chance to take care of my mother when she became ill. She needed care 24 hours a day. I did it with love and care. I know I could not make up for the times I refused to obey her, but I was very happy I got the chance to take care of her while she was sick. That was my chance to show my love for her.

My dad was also the greatest father I could ever want. I wish I had been able to be with him when he was sick the last time, but I was in prison in New York. I wish I could have been home trying to help take care of him. He had several heart attacks. Then he had a gallbladder attack. He was put in the hospital to build himself up to be operated on, but he ended up with a blood clot on his lung.

I did get the chance to spend one day with him before he passed away. The doctor knew it was just a matter of time, so I was allowed to see him. He looked good, but I knew it was coming to an end. I’m truly blessed that I got that chance to say goodbye.

My one daughter has two sons, and the other daughter has one daughter and two sons. The grandchildren are very spoiled. My grandson is spoiled also, but not as much as my granddaughters. I love and miss them all very much. They are in New York near Syracuse.

My daughter has not allowed me to see them for the past three years since I am incarcerated.

I have not heard from my children since December of 1998. She needed money for Christmas. I gave it to her because I love them all and I wanted them to have a nice holiday.

I still write them faithfully, and even though I don’t hear back from them I still write to let them know I love them and where I am now.

I have God as my higher power to guide me each and every day. He gives me strength for the days ahead.

My husband has been there beside me in all walks of my life. We’ve been up and down, and he is still there for me. I thank God he is still with me considering all I have put him through. Some men would have left long ago. His love is still there as strong as it has ever been from the beginning, maybe even stronger.

What I want out of life: is to leave prison and have unity back with my family as one and put the past in the past and start anew.

I have three children whose names are Darrius, Joshua, and Waltia. During my time of incarceration, my sisters, aunts, my daughters and grandparents have been pulling together to keep me strong and provide for my three children and me. I know that my being away from them has taken a toll on their lives. My sisters and I are very young and we had to act as adults before our time. My mom passed away when we were young, but not too a young (seventeen and eighteen) so we both had babies and we were now left to provide for our children and ourselves. It’s a good thing that my mom instilled family values in us before she passed away. My hopes and dreams for my family are to unite again. It’s a lot of things in my children’s and extended family’s lives that I have missed. I wish I could have been there to share their experiences with them. I want to give my sister a big hug and tell her how much I love her, because I want her to know that it’s real love. I need for her to know that I love and appreciate her more than she may know. My dreams for us are to grow old together and tell our children what a wonderful grandmother they had.

We all are close to each other. My hopes and dreams for my family are that we all get closer to God. We all like to party and have a good time, but for me today I’m not much on partying. I guess it’s okay to drink but not get drunk. When I drank, I always got drunk and wanted some drugs or either got into a fights. My mother doesn’t drink much. My father is a big weekend drinker. My sister and brothers are not big drinkers or drug users.

We were all a close family until I started using drugs. That’s when my life went down hill. I didn’t call my mother to check on her. I really didn’t have a lot to do with my family except for my sister and niece. I used to keep my niece all the time, but I was still using every time I got the chance. One of my brothers and I have always been very close. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for him, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other brother too. My sister and I get along well, also. My niece plays a big part in my life, because I didn’t have any girls, and she was just like my little girl. My boys are almost eight years apart, but they get along pretty well at times. I hope that my oldest son gets out and takes care of my grandchildren. I also hope that he doesn’t sell any more drugs or hang with the wrong people. I want him to get his life together and become somebody that his children and I can be proud of. I would like for my youngest son to finish school and go into the army or attend college.

My hopes and dreams are to get my GED, and take up a trade that will help me better my life. I want to be the best grandmother that I can. I love children.

I know that God has given me another chance to get myself together because he has a plan for me. I really want to take care of children or help people who can’t help themselves. I feel that we all need somebody to love. I always have felt that I have much more love for my sister and brothers than they have for myself, but I know they love me. Thank God that my mother has always loved all of us the same. I think that my father cares a little more for my sister than the others, but he loves us all. I left somebody out that‘s a big part of my life that I love very much. My grandmother is my heart. She has always been the love of my life. I wouldn’t take nothing from her. She is a good woman, I know that I have disappointed her and the rest of my family, but they are still in my life. They come to see me and send me money. I have an aunt named Mary whom I love too. She always writes me up-lifting letters. She keeps my spirits up. I have a very lovable family.

It started back in April 1986 when I met my husband. I was five months pregnant with my oldest daughter, Soraya. James and I were introduced by talking on the phone about a month prior to ever seeing one another. At first when I met him I did not want to go back to meet him again. However, we worked things out. It has been about fifteen years, and we are still together.

My husband James has done so much for me and my girls, who are not even biologically his. At first, when I started using drugs, my husband did not know what was going on. On the other hand, he had some suspicions. Eventually, he discovered that I was on drugs and he tried to get me off. But I would not listen to him. When there was no food in the house, he went to get food for us.

My idea of a family is my husband, my three daughters, our two dogs, and our own home. My husband and my girls are my heroes. In their eyes there was nothing wrong with me. Now that I am locked up, I still see that dream about us. My family has inspired me to keep up the good work while I am locked up. They have asked me not to get into any trouble and to do what I have to do to make it out of Fluvanna on time to be with my daughters and without the drugs.

In my teenage years I started a live of crime, stealing to fit in and using drugs to kill the pain. I ended up in prison and left three girls and a loving mother behind. The hardest part of being in prison for me is missing my loved ones.

Since I have been here, I have realized that I needed to admit that my molestation was not my fault and to let the past go. Being on drugs is not living a normal life. I did not show the love I felt for my family. As of today I am overflowing with love that I will fill their lives with.

As a stepchild I was told I was nobody, so I did not try to learn in school. Now I realize that I was wrong and so were they. There is more to life to me today. I do not want to be high or commit crimes. I want to earn my GED and use my skills to get a job so that I can provide for my three beautiful girls and myself.

I may be locked up, but I am living and free to learn, listen, and think. I will do my best to live a productive, happy, normal life as a thirty-four year-old black, female ex-felon.

The D J got there about 6:30 and hooked up his music, and we really started to have fun then. Most of Roosevelt’s family was there. We were having a good time. At about 7:30 his mother left because she had to get up early for church. On her way to the car she told Roosevelt, "Look at you still smoking that stuff." All he did was drop his head. I guess he felt bad after that because after that he did not act like himself. I kept asking him is he was all right, and he would say, "Yes, Black." Oh, that is what he called me.

Then at about midnight Roosevelt to the DJ to turn the music down because he had something to say. He yelled, "Everyone that doesn’t live here get out of my yard!" In a state of shock I asked him what was wrong. He screamed that the cookout was over. Even though I told my friends to stay, most of them left.

The next morning I got up bright and early to clean up the mess from the night before. When my husband got up, at first everything was fine. But all of a sudden he changed. He started yelling, fussing, and cussing. I really didn’t know what to do. By the time he stopped, some friends from the night before came by. We decided to have another cookout. Because we needed some onions, my husband said he would go to the store because he had something that he wanted to pick up.

Roosevelt was not a bad person, but what happened that day I will never forget. He just went crazy. He just wanted to do something to me, for what I don’t know. He picked up a hammer and came toward me with it like he was going to hit me with it. I was peeling the onions and turned around with the knife in my hand. He walked into and it killed him. I was not trying to kill him. He was my husband and I loved him. The judge did not see it that way. Now I am in Fluvanna Correctional Center for women with a twenty-year sentence for killing my husband.

I think that I am real good in school. I have changed my life in the last three years since I have been locked up. I am reading a lot better, and I am learning to do math so that I can help my children with their homework. I would like to learn different things in school before I go home. My dream is to get my GED. I would like to go to college. I would like to get a good job. I would like a better life for my family, my aunt, and me.

My aunt talks to me every day about homework. She is my very best friend and she keeps me out of trouble. She loves to talk all the time. She always talks about school and work. She always talks about change. She always talks about hopes and dreams. I told my aunt I would like to be a teacher for adults.

I believe in my family and myself. My family all send love to me. I believe that my family will be there for me no matter what: Chantel, Latash, Anthony, Antinio, Chistopher, Lawanng, Disa, Dominue, Tresa, Tom, Kinifrey. All of my kids are in school. I would love to help with their homework when I get out of jail.

The next day my father took them to the priest and asked if they could have lessons so they could do their first communion. The priest happily acepted and said yes. So my sisters went to church and I went with them because of my interest in learning about the bible. At that time they didn't know about my interest. They thought I just wanted to be with them. So I sat away from them so I wouldn't bother thier lessons. I sat and just heard what they were learning.

When it came time for them to do their First Communion, I showed my dad that I knew the prayers and everything else that they knew. My dad was amazed at what I had learned. He took me to the church and asked if I was ready to join my sisters. The priest said "Yes!", and I joined my sisters.

My father was really proud of me and I was happy also.

ear Leslie,

The day you were born I was very happy. I was so happy that I cried. I became protective of you right away and didn't want too many people to hold you. Everything was different the day you came home -- we became a family.

On your first birthday you were very playful. When I was working at night I didn't get to see you that much because I was sleeping when you were playing.

When you were two years old I was working during the day so I was home when you were awake and playing with your toys. You always liked going out and your mom and I would take you out to Burger King for a Happy Meal. We did lots of fun things together. You were growing up really fast. Your favorite character on T.V. was Barney the Dinosaur and you always liked playing with your dolls.

You were starting to be a big girl when you turned three years old. You began learning a lot about colors and shapes. You were so excited when you found out that you were going to preschool. You also went to the dentist for the first time. You did very good and did what the doctor asked you to do. He told you that you had ten teeth on the top and ten on the bottom. He told mommy and me to help you brush your teeth. The first time you spent the night away from home, you stayed at your Aunt Sandra's house. Your mom and I worried about you when you were gone. We didn't get much rest.

When you turned four you went on our first family vacation. We went to Nags Head, North Carolina. When we were on the beach you were scared of the ocean, but you enjoyed picking up shells off the beach and playing in the sand. When you were playing in the swimming pool you didn't want to get out. We visited a lot of sites and went to some gift shops. You were excited when you fed the seagulls with grandma. You enjoyed yourself so much that when we came home from our trip you wanted to know when we were going again.

A few days later we decided that we should start getting you prepared for school. We went schol shopping and let you pick out some of your school clothes and shoes. Your first day of preschool was August 28, 2000. You were a big girl, you didn't cry. Your mom told me that when the bus arrived you ran to it, and you waved bye to her. I was sorry that I wasn't there to send you off to school. When I came home from work your mom and I walked down to the bus stop to get you off the bus. We asked you how you liked school and you told us that you liked it and wanted to know when you were going back. We asked you what you did in school and you said you played with playdoh. You are doing so good in schol and you have made many friends. Your mom and I are extremely proud of you.

I have many hopes and dreams for you. I hope you will and can be the best you can be. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't achieve or do something because you can do anything you set your heart and mind to do. I hope you will complete school, and attempt whatever it is you may want in life. Remember to always follow your heart and to do whatever you need to do to make your wishes and dreams come true. Always try to live a happy and healthy life. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that you may not want to do. My dream for you is that you will someday have a family of your own and that you will have the job that you have worked hard to get. Always try to be a kind and considerate person toward others and to yourself, otherwise it might make life more difficult. Always think of your feelings and other people's feelings. Stop and ask yourself, "Would I want some one to say or do this to me?" You have got to love yourself before you can love others. Remember your mom and I will always love you and will stand by you through all your decisions and accomplishments.

Questions and comments to Susan Erno