Courtney is now 3 years old and 14 lbs. My family has been through so many trying times, even my 14 year old son, Brandon. He is so good with his sister, he just amuses her. She laughs at him. She watches everywhere he goes. He helps me so much with her, he is like a little dad to her. He loves his sister so much. We've had to be apart right much during hospitalization with my daughter. It is very frustrating, being apart and not knowing what was going to happen to your family.

As for my hopes and dreams, I have so many. One is to watch Courtney grow up and walk and to hear her talk to me. And, for my family, to stay close and loving always. Also to watch Brandon graduate high school in four years. My biggest dream is to hope my family can spend more family time together. I'd like us to be going places together, but that is very hard right now because my husband works 10 to 12 hours a day, everyday of the week. I love my family so much, I just want to draw us closer.

Once again, I am back at the hospital, this time it is with my wife, Lila. On Sunday, October 25, my wife had a heart attack. We got the Gladstone Rescue Squad to take her to Lynchburg Genral Hospital. After doing a number of tests, the doctor told us she had a heart attack. On Monday, Dr. Daniel Carey, M.D. did a cauterization on her. He told us she would need to have open heart surgery. On Tuesday, October 27, as my children and granddaughters waited, she had quadruple bypass. During the long wait, I think my family grew closer as we relied on each other for strength. Each of us prayed in our own way for her to survive. After the surgery, she had a hard time with different problems. She stayed in intensive care for eight days. She came home on November 6th and is doing much better. She has a long way to go. Someone has to stay with her all the time. But it is truly a miracle she came through.

Just when I thought everything was doing fine, I am back at the hospital again, something I did not expect to do so soon. On December 30, I could not get my wife up that morning. I called the Gladstone Rescue Squad. They took her to the hospital. My family and I waited once again for the results, not knowing what to expect this time. The doctors did a number of tests and told us she had a mini stroke. Dr. Wells admitted her to the hospital. She stayed in the hospital for seven days. She had no control of her left side. But, I thank God, she now can move both her arm and leg. With therapy she is now recovering. Some times it is hard to understand why these things come to us, but only God knows. I am looking forward to 1999 and whatever it might hold, I pray that I will survive.

Don't fall a victim to peer pressure. Please stay in school Obey your parents. Go to church. Develop a relationship with God. That's the key to living a successful life. Look at the little picture and stay away from the big picture in life because the big picture is only painted pretty to fool people like you. Just as it fooled me. Think of what you're going to need to survive in the real world. Do you want to live a life of crime -- robbing, prostituting, and shoplifting -- to support your habit? Or do you want to know that you are destroying other people's lives by selling them the devil and the poison they are putting into their systems? Or know that the police are all over you?

Drugs are the downfall of our country. Please, before you do anything concerning drugs, I ask you to STOP AND THINK of the consequences AND JUST SAY NO!

Stay away from drugs and those who do them!

One more reason I love them so much is that they make me go to school when I don't like to. So, what I'm saying is they like to see young men and girls go to school. The reason they like to see young men and girls go to school is because they want to see that they get a good education.

I have encouraged both of my girls to get their GED. Angel worked on it for a while but has not been to class for some time. I am afraid she has given up. Diana said she wanted to get her GED, but she has never started. They both have jobs, so I guess it is hard for them to think about school work.

I wish I had kept going to school. I can see now that it would have been better for me. If I had my time to do over, I would never have dropped out of school. I quit in the fifth grade.

I am enrolled in a workplace GED class and I am making progress. But it takes a long time to make up all the school I missed when I can only go to class one morning a week for six months a year. Fortunately, I also have a reading volunteer tutor who helps me the other six months. I like to learn so it is not so hard for me to come back to school. My teachers have made it interesting and fun.

You are never too old to go back to school and get your education! My deam will come true as long as I keep working at it. I plan to keep going to class until I have my dream. I hope my two girls will decide to get their GED's too.

Many people wish they could turn back the hands of time to the day they quit school. For example, my friends and I are always saying, "I wish I hadn't quit school." My reasoning behind why I should not have quit school is, one: I could be almost out of college or, two: I could have a better job simply because I would have a high school diploma.

There is no explanation for my decision to quit school. I have had some jobs in the past; either they had good benefits or good pay. Never have I had a job with both.

Being a high school dropout and a single mom is hard for me. My child and I have a very close relationship, but it is also distant. Let me explain. Because I dropped out, I have to work longer hours to bring home more money, which takes the daylight time I have with my son. My friends who are in the same situation also have to live from day to day or work all day, everyday to make a living for them and their family.

Staying in school is a small price to pay for a better future, especially when your future depends upon it. I feel like my future was dealt to me crooked for a reason. My decision was wrong for quitting school, but at the time it was what I thought I had to do. I came from a divorced family and at one time my parents fought with each other so that I was forced to leave and start providing for myself because their way of living was driving me insane.

It was a choice that has taught me a rough lesson. Without an education, you may make a good living for yourself, but it is one hundred percent true that it would be a lot easier if I had a diploma. Going back to school has made me feel good about myself. At one time I felt like a quitter. Returning has given me self-pride to know that, as a mature adult, I see where I went wrong. As a wiser person, I had enough strength to go back and work on finishing!

One of my best memories from childhood is going to get baby rabbits with my stepfather at Easter. He is a good man who spent a lot of time with me doing different things.

These fond memories leave me especially sad now when I see him sitting at home on oxygen, withering away, and dying.

As I look back over the years, my biggest regret is the distance that I and my family members have kept between ourselves.

My girlfriend Mary Beth and her son Dustin are my new family now. I want to be the kind of attentive parent my stepfather was, and have a much closer family bond than I ever saw while growing up.

I know that sometimes I feel that it is too much for me, but I am very happy being a student again.

I hope to instill in my children, with the aid of our precious Bible, church and -- foremost -- belief in our Lord, Jesus Christ, that what they need is a sense of respect, hard work and love all placed in the Ten Commandments, based on faith.

I hope and pray that they will find that. Failure is not the end, but the beginning of understanding.

As the years have passed and the millenium approaches, our nation -- founded on God -- as perverted, twisted and corrupt as it can be, still has a chance.

We all have to throw our pride away, repent and come under the one definition given to all who call upon the name of the Lord...Christian. No, not Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, Protestant, Mormon or any other name given to religion by man but the name given by God to his Son and from his Son to us, that we may be Christ-like.

May God have mercy upon our souls and spare us from his wrath and the wiles of Satan. In Jesus' name we must pray. Amen.

My family starts with a loving wife and three wonderful children. Stephanie, who is my only little girl, is now sixteen years old. She is a junior in high school and does very well in all her subjects. After school Stephanie works four hours every evening at the local supermarket in the deli department.

Matthew is my oldest son; he is now fifteen years old. My wife and I have worked very hard with him after we found out that he had a learning disability in grade school After a few years of hard work and tutors, Matthew does quite well in school now.

Zachary is four years old and has gleaming red hair. He is the sunshine of my life, even on the darkest day. Any day of the week and any place that I may be, it will be very hard to find me without my little red-headed boy.

Now that you know about my wonderful family, I have great concerns about them and the future. What concerns me the most is that the children will have a long and wonderful life.

My wife and I try and work so very hard to give these children the most love that we can every day. We also tell our children that you are never too old to stop learning.

Life today is more complicated than it was years ago. I tell my children that, when they have children, never forget to take time with them each day no matter how bad your day was to let them know that you love, care and think about them every day.

The dream that I have for my family is that they will always love and care for each other no matter how hard the world gets around them.

Our country was founded on religious freedom. People wanted to be free to worship God and be able to prosper as much as they were willing to work.

Our spiritual faith gave us courage and the desire to be free; so we fought for our independence from England and won, which gave us liberty and the right to pursue our dreams.

Along with liberty came abundance. There was a vast land to explore and many riches to be taken from it, be it farming the rich soil, hunting and trapping for food and animal pelts, or mining the riches from the earth.

The problem with abundance is that it brought selfishness, and people killed each other over land and mining rights. Many would steal and cheat other people rather than work. There also was a time of slavery, when many were mistreated and forced to work long, hard days for their masters who were already wealthy but wanted more.

Now that we have developed so many labor-saving devices, and the government has supported so many through welfare, food stamps, social security, medicare and many other kinds of aid, we have become complacent and apathetic, which has led us to dependency.

Someone once wrote that a democracy cannot exist when the voters discover that they can get money from the public treasury. Now I ask you, why was Governor Gilmore elected? He promised to do away with the car tax, that's why.

As history will show, if you look at past great nations, many of them have gone from dependency to bondage. The most recent example is the Soviet Union. They went from being a powerful nation to hunger, to its people not being paid and wars. They have also gone from communism to a great thirst for the word of God.

In conclusion, I ask how greedy, dependent and apathetic must we get before the American people say, "No more!"? One good example was what just went on in the White House. If we do not start teaching values in our homes and accepting the responsibilities of our actions, can this country long endure? This country was founded on the desire to worship God. I am afraid that if we do not get back to the Bible, our children and grandchildren may not enjoy the comforts we have today. It may be bondage instead.

My family has the same goals as I. I believe that if we work hard and are very determined that we could reach the top.

I hope that whatever I taught them as they were growing up and whatever struggles they've seen me go through pay off at the end. For example, I had both of my kids at a young age, and I have been on welfare. It's not easy being looked at as another number in the system or having someone always complaining about their tax dollars going to us young black teenage mothers who sit around each month and wait for a welfare check to come in the mail. It didn't take me long to heal my wounds and get a job, even though I had to get a workers' permit first before I started working, but I did work. And when it came to the decision to give up my job so that I could finish school because my grades were dropping, I chose work because, like my guidance counselor said, I can always go back to school, and I refuse to accept welfare again.

My dreams are to see my kids graduate from both high school and college and pursue a career of their dreams. That's the reason why I want to go back to school; to set an example for my kids. And I pray to God that friends or drugs don't influence them into going in the wrong direction.

My only concerns are if I fail as a mother and my kids may fail in life. It's not easy for them to grow up in the real world all alone and not know where to turn to for help, especially when they're trying to learn the facts of life before they become of age. So, if I don't set the rules straight or leave a path so they can follow and if I'm hard to teach them, how will they ever learn? And nobody will raise your kids the way you do.

So these are my hopes, dreams, and concerns of being a parent who was once a child and having seen my parents as I see myself struggling now.

What momma did while daddy was gone: she had to milk the cow, feed the cow, take care of all the children. There were seven of us, I was the youngest. My mama made light bread with yeast made with potatoes. We had corn ground to meal and she made cornbread. Sometimes we took corn to the mill, a few miles away, down there which had a big water wheel. Sometimes we made ashcakes in the fireplace. You had to wash the ashes off in the dishwater.

Sometimes mama would cook meat at night, and we would have it for breakfast with the ashcakes. It would be spareribs, hog head, chin bone, maybe salt pork.

When she was old enough to go to school, that was the beginning of sorrow for me. It was hard not to have her home when I came in for lunch, but after a few weeks went by, I got used to not having her around.

A few months went by and our little girl was bringing her work home from school. I was amazed over what she had learned in such a short time.

When she was in high school, her grades were always very good. All the learning that she had gotten, she got by herself because my wife and I did not get an education. So, we encouraged her to get all that she could because, when she got older, she would need it, not only to get a good job but it would help her in raising her children and paying her bills; it's a part of everyday life.

The next thing I knew, I was getting ready to go to her graduation. It was so beautiful when I saw our daughter go up and receive her diploma; it brought tears to my eyes. I was so proud of her! I realized that we had done something right.

The following year we thought she would go to college for a few years, but she didn't. She got a job in a nursing home. She has been working there seven years and they are putting her through school at their expense, which is very good.

I thank God for our little girl and I thank God for being able to go back to school at an old age!

My wife enjoyed walking around and playing games. She won two teddy bears. She spent some time at the Water Park, too.

We watched a play and a live show. When we got hungry, we had something to eat. Once we ate hot dogs, french fries...and ice cream for dessert.

We stayed over for two nights in a rented cabin and went to a concert there. The fireworks were really great and the colored fountains were really beautiful at night. It was very crowded while we were there, but we enjoyed it anyway.

We have a season's pass and we are going back some more this summer.

Losing My Father

by Lisa Harris, Fluvanna County

loved him and lost him Lost him without a word My heart is aching Aching like a fallen bird Feeling so alone and dead inside The pain I cannot hide My heart is broken Broken in two and there is nothing that I can do.

Antoine's Tent: A Children's Story

by Benedicte Juyaux, Charlottesville t was bedtime. It was winter outside. Antoine was waiting in his bed for a story.
It was dark and cold outside.
But Antoine was under his duvet, the one with the little panda on it, in his cozy little room.
He was safe and warm.
Mom never missed the bedtime story, so he just had to wait, confident.

He was safe under his tent. The over-bed-tent he had gotten for Christmas...
Really, Santa always had good ideas...It is pretty cool to have a tent over you when you are scared of the cold winter night...Imagine all the strange things that live in the dark!

He was safe under his tent. Only his eyes were out of the duvet.
He could see through the two window-like screens. He could check whatever would have the scary idea of entering his cozy little room. He was able to see the two windows on one side and the door on the other side.
The big Black Vampire with his two long teeth could not come in ...
Anyway, the door was too narrow, and the windows were thoroughly closed. He knew it, he had checked it.

But, what if the terrifying black Bat-Monster could get in anyway? Antoine had also checked the sky. The sky was completely dark and black, no moon, no stars...The perfect night for the Big Black Vampire?
Of course, you know that He never appears during the daytime, nor when the night is clear. And He comes only when little children are alone in their bedrooms. The only way to escape from Him is to hide under the duvet. That's because if He can't see you, you are safe. He will leave sooner or later to find another little boy who forgot to hide under his cover.

And now, with his tent over him, Antoine was hum...kind of doubly protected. How could the Big Black Vampire imagine that there was a little boy inside the tent, under the duvet? Antoine smiled to himself; he was smarter than the Big Black Vampire. He was safe under his tent, under the duvet.

But, what is this large dark shadow on the tent's canvas? Could the Big Black Vampire have gotten in after all?

"Hey Antoine, where are you hiding? It is story time! Are you asleep? You are so quiet!"
"Phew!" It is Mom. Everything is finally all right. "I am here Mom. I was just waiting for you! Give me a big hug!"

My Family

by Darko Saric, Charlottesville an kind is growing, growing and growing. Restrictions are made but they can't prevent constant growth. Some day, far (or not) in the future will come the question "how much further?" In the meantime, an answer will be found. Did we ask ourselves what the reason is for population growth? It seems too simple, the answer is a family, the attraction of family life, life with your wife and children.

I ask myself often, what attracts me to live a family life. Here are some reasons: In the early beginning, it wasn't so easy. Me and my wife needed a little time to know each other. Our lives were bonded together, our customs were alike, and I knew it would be O.K. Later we had two children, a boy and a girl, and our happiness was complete, but it was only the beginning of the challenge. The kids were growing, they started to go to school, to play in the yard with other children, but also to hide things from us. Both of us, my wife and I, were working, hard working and coming home late. We suddenly discovered that our children were having their own lives, their own secrets, in fact that we were living together but separated.

Then I realized that I don't know my own children, and something must be done. We took a long vacation (in fact moved to USA) and started a new life with our children. We studied their customs, their behavior, and tried to live together. After a short time I think we made it. Our children's behavior toward us changed. We were no longer two persons who only provided money for food or other needs, but they discovered too, that we are their friends, and we can support them in other ways, not only as moneymakers. For my children it was an amazing discovery. After this, their confidence in themselves increased enormously, all problems they have solved almost alone. For us it was a victory, but it was a victory without any defeat.

Family Preparations

by Fo-Liang Chen, Charlottesville want to learn more English because I am living in the US. I want to talk to more people at work. I want to be a manager someday.

I want citizenship soon. I want to take the test in May.

My wife is still in China. I want to bring her to the US. We are waiting.

I am saving money for my test and for my wife's airline ticket. In 1998 I bought a car. I drive my car to work and to shopping. I want to buy my own house to live in.

"A Baby's Got to Do What a Baby's Got to Do"

by Katrina Lawrence, Charlottesville n January 29th, 1999 about 9:00 o'clock that Friday morning I was at Spotsylvania County Health Department to take a pregnancy test. The most important thing happened in my life. I found out that I am going to be a "Mommy." And, well, the funny thing about me finding out is when the lady at the health department said to me, "You're positive." I looked at her and said, "Positive for what?" She said, "Sweetheart, you're a Mommy now, you're pregnant." I began to cry wondering what I was going to do. They were tears of joy, love and happiness. I could not wait to tell the people that I love, my family and friends and my boyfriend who's soon to be a Daddy. I was also scared at this time in my life, too.

When I found out I was having a baby, I started growing up, listening to the people that were taking care of me and doing what I need to do for my child. I have set goals for myself and for my unborn child. I feel like I am the only one that knows how scared I am, wanting to do so much for my son or daughter. When I was younger, I didn't know who I was growing up. I felt scared of letting go. I wanted to make everyone happy. What I want for my child is to know his or her place in where she stands in this world, no matter how hard it may seem. I can say one of my biggest fears is not being there for him or her and letting them know what's wrong or right. I want them to hang with a crowd that teaches them to stay away from the crowd that tries to bring them down. I may not be able to protect them from everything, but what I can protect them from I will, and let them know where the place is if they need a hand. They can always look to their Father in Heaven, or Jeremy, their father, and me. When they need something they can look to us.

One big thing I want for my child is to respect himself or herself and others when they may have problems. I want them to know that it is okay to stick up for yourself and what you believe in and to know to come to me or their daddy if they need something or have a problem.

I'm soon to be eighteen years old in May, and I can not wait to go back home to where I belong, but until that time my support group are the people I live with, Kara, Monica, Sandy, Jose, and Cathy, and the friends at Johnson, and my teacher, Kate. The biggest support is my baby's father who I want and need when my social worker says it's okay. But for now I wish to say thank you to everyone who is helping me "grow up."

All Families are Important

by Maria Guadalupe, Charlottesville want to write something about small families and large families.

I think that having a small family is good because you live better and can be thrifty, and you can give the children what you want. You can spend more time with them. You have more communication, you know them better, and in the future it is more possible to have enough money for college. Anyway, the parents can spend more time together, and be more in communication, and plan the future of their children, to talk about what they like, how they are, and what they would like to be. I think it is an advantage to have a small family.

Although for me personally, I love the children and big families. But it must be sad not to have enough for them. Because for me as the same for other parents, the children are very important. We can say the most important in our lives. For example, when they are sick we are anxious and sad. We spend a lot of time taking care of them hoping they feel better.

And having a family whether it is large or small is the biggest happiness that we can have.

This is Dedicated to My Son, Jamal Lamar Hairston

by Beverly Hairston, Charlottesville he day my son was born I was really afraid and very nervous. I had been in the hospital for several months due to some complications.

The day had finally arrived for my son to be born. Even though I was feeling worried, deep inside my heart was filled with joy after I heard the faint little cries of my dearly beloved son. All I could say was "Thank God" for giving me what I had hoped and prayed for all those months in the hospital awaiting his arrival.

I had my doubts on several occasions that I may not see my son, or maybe he'd be imperfect.

The Lord really blessed me. My son was born with only minor problems. When I was finally able to see my son, I looked at his precious face and held his tiny body. All I could do was cry tears of joy.

Jamal is almost two years old now, and he's brought a lot of happiness into my life.

He's a little devilish at times, but that's all part of being a baby and growing up.

I now know what my main job is when it comes to trying to be a god mother. All I can do as a mother is to try to see that my son gets the best I have to offer him.

Sometimes when things are going bad or I feel as if I'm all alone, I look at my son and realize that I do have a best friend, Jamal.

Sure, he can't talk yet, but I feel in my heart some comfort just having him around to talk to when I'm feeling sad and alone.

My son is a very special part of my life and as long as I'm living, I'll try my best to make his life as complete as possible.

To have lost a child and then be able to pull myself together physically and emotionally so that I could be able to have a son, who was born with just a minor heart problem, I think it's really a blessing from above.

My son is doing just fine, now; and to me, that's really a miracle.

Voices Home | Index | Working | Everyday Heroes | Memories